I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
