did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My feet surprised me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize