come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize