I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
