Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
