We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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