Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize