If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
