Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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