i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
