I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
