I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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