she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
