Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
