and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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