you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
