I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The power of my boobs compel you
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
