I can't watch pbs sober anymore
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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