I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
