I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you inspire me to be a worse person
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
