Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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