no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
