talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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