i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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