Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
