Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
