I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
