If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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