I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
