Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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