you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
