Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
