Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
