help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
even my farts smell like vagina
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
