I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
