I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize