Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
