She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
