Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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