hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
