i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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