I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
