i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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