I wanna passion pit in your ass
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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