You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
