I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
