Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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