Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
from now on my penis is your penis
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
