Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
