i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
