she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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