we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
