Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
