All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
