I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
