I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
