So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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