Dual....:-)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
