Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
