im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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