one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
