You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
