Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
